Skrillex’s Doppelganger is a Thirteen-Year-Old Girl With A Mountain Dew Addiction

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Skrillex’s Doppelganger was just discovered near downtown Bismarck, North Dakota, but the thirteen-year-old girl with a Mountain Dew addiction and the legendary DJ initially seemed to have very little in common beyond their appearance.

We caught up with Cynthia Meyers to hear her thoughts on the comparison, “Skrill – what? I’ve never heard of such a thing. You say he makes music? I mainly just listen to stuff that keeps me mentally locked in while I pwn noobs on WOW and COD – World of Warcraft and Call of Duty if you don’t know – and that’s usually bands like Nirvana, Avenged Sevenfold, Evanescence, and Fall Out Boy. Anything that speaks to my teen angst really.”

Cynthia didn’t want to talk too much about her bizarre obsession with Mountain Dew, but she did say the following, “Oh, you want me to talk about that green gold? I also call it green goblin sometimes, but I can’t even function without a can in hand. I started riding the mountain when I was only five. It all started as a mistake, I just stole one from a gas station because I loved that fluorescent green color. I knew I had an issue when I started stealing money from my mom’s purse to get my hands on that green goodness from the corner store, and I even turned down MTV when they asked me to be on their show True Life: “I’m Addicted to Mountain Dew.””

Skrillex was unavailable for comment when we reached out to him, but we heard through sources close to him that he’s very pleased to have inspired an entire generation of women’s hairstyles.

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Intoxicated Reporter

Intoxicated Reporter

Out-of-control and forever-drugged - reporting every event incorrectly with extreme diligence.