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Music High Court Justice Is Blind, Not Deaf
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Tiësto Takes a Break From Music, Manufactures Toys for Adults Called ‘Tiëldos’

Tiesto

Man at UMF Jumps Too High, Reaches Exosphere

Exosphere

Presidential Hopeful, Donald Trump, Enlists Hardwell To Create His Campaign Theme Song

President-assigned-hardwell

Man Injured at Tomorrowland, Says He Stabbed Himself When Steve Aoki Played Titanic Remix

Man-injured-at-Tommorowland

No One Raises Their Hands Up, Hardwell Breaks Down On Stage

No One Raises
headphone-earphone-web

Man Shamed Publicly For Not Knowing The Difference Between Headphones And Earphones

A man made the tragic mistake of disclosing his lack of knowledge to one of his work buddies.

dj-mag-paid-votes-web

Breaking: Prices Paid for Spots on the Top 100 DJ Poll Leaked

In the latest WikiLeaks reveal, the international non-profit organization leaked the real cost behind the DJMag top 100 rankings.

selfie-cause-behind-people-despising-you

Selfies Are Now The Number One Cause Behind People Despising You

Harvard Research Institute released the results of a groundbreaking study last week.

Carnage Pokemon Go EDM

Carnage Stage Dives to Try and Catch Pikachu

The Chipotle king goes crazy after Pokémon GO.

Valentino-khan-moustache

Valentino Khan Added To National Sex Offender List Because Of His “Pedophile Mustache”

After less than 10 minutes of deliberation, the Valentino Khan was added to the registry because of his moustache by the Supreme Court.

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DISCLAIMER:

Due to heavy sedation, the reports published here are modified according to the will of the Intoxicated Reporter. Please note that all articles within this section are satire in nature.

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