Presidential Hopeful, Donald Trump, Enlists Hardwell To Create His Campaign Theme Song


2016 Republican frontrunner, Donald Trump, has had poor luck with his choice of campaign songs. Denied by Bruce Springsteen, treated as a persona non-grata by the estate of The Ventures, and even denied by Maroon 5. Maroon ‘they’re still a band?’ 5! But, that is about to change.

In a Twitter exchange, Hardwell reached out to Trump, offering to compose a campaign song for him. When asked why, Robbert van de Corput replied, “I was at one of his rallies – I’m not sure – maybe the one at Red Lobster, and this jingle came on, and I thought – wow, this is so good, what a unique and incredible song, but it turned out it was just my cell phone’s ringer. Donald doesn’t have a song, he has 15 children chanting his name loudly while he spins in circles like an airplane before he takes the stage.” When asked to get to the point, Hardwell continued, “so, I said I would compose a song, it would be the greatest gift I could give him.”

When asked about Hardwell’s magnanimous gesture, The Donald had this to say, “I heard someone with an accent talking, and I was about to shoot him, but he was white, so I kept listening. He’s some dance guy, does some tetris bleep bloop. But, he said he would give me a free song, so we shook on it.” Our conversation was interrupted by a seagull that mistook his toupee for a dying rodent.

Hardwell’s instagram showed him pantless in a studio, holding a cowbell and a strategically placed KFC Double Down, with the caption, “Making america gr8!”

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Intoxicated Reporter

Intoxicated Reporter

Out-of-control and forever-drugged - reporting every event incorrectly with extreme diligence.

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