Club’s Sound Engineer Fakes His Own Death To Get Out Of Steve Aoki’s Show


With the early front runner for weirdest music-related story of 2017, Steve Aoki has once again made headlines for the wrong reason. Though not entirely at fault, Mr. Aoki’s impending presence was enough to make one club’s sound engineer fake his own tragic death.

Bradley Stephens of Chino Hills, California, has worked as the head sound engineer for Hakkasan Nightclub in Las Vegas for the past three years, but he was ready to throw that all away and start fresh when he heard that Steve Aoki was once again coming to town. “I had already suffered through seven of Steve’s shows that month, and when he was billed to perform on New Year’s Eve, my first instinct was to just quit on the spot. After giving it some more thought, I decided to do something more drastic to bring attention to how painfully bad Steve’s sets really are. Basically, I figured what better way than to fake my own death?”

Ryan Miller, a clubgoer that night, made himself available for comment, “Steve was kind of shitting the bed on New Year’s. His transitions were all over the place, and his song selection made absolutely no sense. I was actually thinking about leaving when he put on his remix of “My Heart Will Go On,” but the lights kicked on right as this random guy appeared to be bleeding out on the middle of the dancefloor. I rushed to this man’s aid, as I currently work as a paramedic, and I noticed immediately that there was no wound where the blood appeared to be spraying from, and the entire area surrounding him smelled of ketchup. At this point, I’m the only one in the room who knows the guy is faking it, but Aoki proceeds to throw cake at him anyway.”

Aoki had his own take on the incident, “The show started hot. Crowd was thumping, and everyone really seemed to be vibing to my set. Right as I’m dropping my Big Room remix of that Titanic song everyone knows the words to, this idiot starts flopping around like a fish. Lights kick on instantly, and blood starts spraying out of his neck. I knew something like this could ruin the night, so I figured, whatever, let’s cake him anyway.”

After being fired on the spot, Bradley Stephens has since taken a job at a Las Vegas stripclub, where he now happily works behind the scenes for Lil’ Jon on the first Tuesday of every month.

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Intoxicated Reporter

Intoxicated Reporter

Out-of-control and forever-drugged - reporting every event incorrectly with extreme diligence.

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