Carl Cox Cancels Show in Mexico, Says The Flyer Designer Misspelled His Name as Carl’s Cock

Carl Cox Cancels Show in Mexico

If you were one of the few hundred nitwit fans who booked tickets to Mexico City to watch Carl Cox play, and found yourself in an incredibly comfortable gay bar called the Man Hole, you have only yourself to blame.

A representative of the bar, Matías Significado, had this to say, “We do not know who this person is, but an event manager called us asking if he knew of a famous DJ called Carl’s Cock, and we said no, but it could be a stage name. I mean, this week we had Ben Dover play some tunes, and our local band is called Ah-Nus. Also, the people who come here aren’t really interested in some DJ fiddling with his laptop or throwing animals or things, they just want to listen to some Shakira or N’Sync and later make violent, consensual love to each other.”

An agent representing Cox told me that the performer was furious his name had been misspelt throughout the city as Carl’s Cock. “Perhaps it was a Google Translate problem, but it doesn’t solve the fact that fans were all being sold shirts that simply said ‘I heart Cock.’ Most of these weren’t even music fans.”

And it seemed it had gotten out of hand with radio promotions telling listeners to come and check out ‘Carl’s Cock’ downtown. What should have been the kickstart of an epic tour was misconstrued as a coming out.

On conversation with a fan at the venue, he had this to say, “We were all so happy! So, this gringo wants to show off his cock, maybe he has finally realized this is what makes him happy, so we all will go. For Solidarity, you know. And I made a few banners, so he knows that he isn’t alone. We all will be there for Cocks – his, mine, anyone’s.”

‘I Heart Cocks’ tour shirts are currently going on eBay for several hundred dollars. Who knows, perhaps that might be the way to go.

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Intoxicated Reporter

Intoxicated Reporter

Out-of-control and forever-drugged - reporting every event incorrectly with extreme diligence.

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